Love the skin you're in!

Not feeling the joy? You can learn to love the skin you're in! Until you do it's impossible to fully care and extend that warm glow of love to others.

When you look in the mirror are you over-critical of the way you look? If people compliment you, do you believe them? The relationship we have with ourselves can be very confusing!

I'm not a psychologist so I'm certainly not going to try to explain or even complicate it - just someone who has experienced self-doubt too!

Call it what you will...

But whatever term we choose to apply - Self esteem? Self confidence? Body Image? - there's no doubt that at times, most of us don't feel as good or as comfortable with ourselves as we'd like to!

If you look up the term 'body confidence' more often than not it will direct you to some kind of diet plan! Instead of making you feel good, it will merely add fuel to the thoughts that 'you're not good enough'!  But you can learn to LOVE the skin you're in!

Do you put yourself under pressure?

A lack of body confidence is usually because we think other women are better - more attractive, slimmer, fitter. A survey shows that 40% of women are dissatisfied with the way they look which impacts on the way they behave.

But who's to say how anyone should look? 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder' and the most important person here is YOU!

You don't have to lose a load of weight or have a complete makeover to begin to feel better about yourself! In fact, it's difficult to move forward at all if you are constantly criticizing yourself and think you need to be something you're not!

Focus on the positives

Learning to love the skin you're in means believing in yourself. This is mostly a mental exercise and you are in control of what you choose to believe - focus on your positives and ignore outside influences that try to dictate how you should be or how you should look.

All of us can adopt some of these simple techniques and direct those negative thoughts into a more POSITIVE direction.

LOVE THE SKIN YOU'RE IN - take 6 Positives!

1   Other people have insecurities too...

It's easy to think that other people are watching and criticizing you but, quite honestly, most people have insecurities and agendas of their own and are too busy to worry about yours. 

Keep something of interest in your bag for when you're alone; a novel, a small book of short stories, notebook and pen, a word puzzle; it will take your mind off other people. 

2   None of us are perfect...  

Everyone has imperfections so there's no point comparing yourself with others.

Change those negative thoughts into positive as you make a list of your best features, your talents (however obscure) and your blessings.

Decide to cultivate the things you like best about yourself and develop the things you like to do. How you feel about yourself is not dependent on those around you.

3   Everyone won't want to be your friend

Don't be disheartened if everyone you attempt to talk to doesn't want to be your buddy! You won't hit it off with everyone, and it may not be a good time for them to strike up a conversation or even be listened to. Move on ..

4   Smile and be ready to accept a compliment

Be ready to accept a compliment from those who do!

On the other hand be the one who initiates that contact. The effect is startling if you compliment the checkout girl on her nails, her earrings, or yes just her smile, you'll make her day. It feels good to initiate that brief conversation.  

People who smile are considered to be smarter and more successful, it encourages you to feel good and actually makes you happier. It also radiates confidence and other people spontaneously react!

5   Fake it 'til you make it

Start the day with positive thoughts, hold up your head, show a bit of bravery and give the appearance of confidence - people will treat you as though you have it!

This is the easiest way of making conversation with others and becoming involved in what's happening! 

6   Plan plan plan...

A special occasion or an outing of any description? Just make sure that you plan and prepare well in advance. Ensure that your outfit is comfortable, makes you feel your best and is ready well in advance.

Don't attempt a last minute new outfit that might not work. Leave yourself plenty of time to get ready - a hastily thrown together look will not give you body confidence! Discover how to gain confidence in yourself and in your appearance as you learn to love the skin you're in.

Watch the news, focus on a subject that interests you to give you something to talk about.